skritches you between the ears
- 3 Posts
- 22 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
Cake day: September 13th, 2023
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Why would you do this thing? Why would you say this thing?
It’s right up there with “Hey guys, did you know that in terms of”
13·1 year agoyou are aware that wool can be harvested from a sheep without killing the sheep?
wait what
er, sorry, what is supposed to be wrong with this
basically how hitting a moose goes
“hey”
“hi”
“so what do you think is our place in the universe”
Edited, thanks!
Blazing a Trail be like
1·3 years agoA game theory!
And that’s a sentence fragment! And I don’t care!
please tell me this has actually happened
Unix socks
Windows terminal prompt
Traitor spotted /j
Can we just take a moment to respect this absolute madlad who decided to go running in a fursuit
First, you’re wearing 20 pounds of insulation and you’re exercising, second, dress shoes are bad enough. How are you able to run in massive soft paw shoes
“I’m not scared. Last I checked cheetahs could only run at that speed for 30 seconds before getting tired. What are you going to do then?”
“Sir, you realize you just incriminated yourself?”
“Fuck.” steps on it
the cheetah starts to fall behind and shouts after me “I CAN STILL WRITE DOWN YOUR LICENSE PLATE, YOU KNOW!”
“Come on, man, at least do it in a pattern”
1·3 years agos-shwarzpelz? is that you?
“No! Not that! Anything but IT tickets!”
“Hahahahaha! Brenda’s homepage got changed to something other than MSN and now she thinks her internet is broken! She can’t be bothered to use the remote desktop software so YOU HAVE TO WALK TO HER DESK! She’s on the sixth floor of a different building and she leaves in 30 minutes so best hurry!”
“NOOOOOO”
“HAHAHAHA BRENDA MAKES TWICE YOUR SALARY AND SHE’LL ACT LIKE IT TOO!”
The beast cowered in fear and began to whimper. I was getting close. It was weakened. I just had to push it over the edge.
“And when you’re done helping Brenda, someone somewhere in building three accidentally plugged two ethernet outlets together, creating a loop and bringing the whole network down, AND IT’S YOUR JOB TO FIGURE OUT WHERE! HAVE FUN SEARCHING A WHOLE FLOOR FOR A ROGUE ETHERNET HUB WHILE EVERYONE SCREAMS AT YOU THAT THEY CAN’T WORK BECAUSE THE NETWORK IS DOWN!!!”
Screaming, crying in its native tongue about LACP, the beast fled into the woods. My companion was shaken, but unharmed. The rest of our trek was uneventful.
all Arch users are gay and 50% are trans
i would eat the SHIT out of a T-rex. Is PETA kidding? Imagine how much meat is in just one of those. Plus it’s not terrorizing my tribe of cavemen anymore!